


Retirement

by ThoughtfulBreadPolice



Series: Round32020 [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky is only mentioned, Hinted Polyamory, M/M, Multi, Poor Tony, Steve suffers from foot in mouth syndrome, hinted relationship, lots of hints in this people, use your imaginations okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22913479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoughtfulBreadPolice/pseuds/ThoughtfulBreadPolice
Summary: Fifty year old singers could ride a stripper pole upside down, but Tony sleeps wrong and he can’t turn his head to the right for six days.(mildly inspired by a poster on facebook)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, implied
Series: Round32020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601194
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	Retirement

**Author's Note:**

> Bingo Fill S4/Retirement  
> Card#3018  
> Stuckony-ish
> 
> This is completely ridiculous and I blame lack of sleep entirely.

“Face it Stark, you’re getting old, old, old.” Tony’s face was a grimace of pain as he tried to stretch his neck out. “What’s the world coming to when a man can’t even sleep in weird positions without getting a crick in his neck huh?” It was actually ridiculous. Fifty year old singers could ride a stripper pole upside down, but Tony sleeps wrong and he can’t turn his head to the right for six days. “Unfair. Completely unfair.” And really it wasn’t like he was in bad shape! He was in great shape! Sure he was no super soldier, or a Natasha, but really, he was in fabulous shape for being a baseline human! It honestly just wasn’t fair. The universe was out to get him, he was sure of it.

“Tony you okay?” Steve didn’t even sound concerned. He sounded amused, the perfect bastard.

“Does it look like I’m okay? I mean really Steve, does it look like everything is honkey-dory? And stop laughing at me Steven, this isn’t funny. I can’t turn my head to the right!” Tony huffed as he felt the bed start vibrating slightly due to Steve’s very poor attempt at hiding his laughter. The jerk.

“Poor Tony. Want me to make it better?” Tony couldn’t actually see Steve at the moment, but he didn't have to. Tony knew, oh did Tony know what look was on Rogers’ face!

“No I do not want you to make it better. I’m in this predicament because of you if you’ll recall. How dare you do this to me. And then the audacity! The sheer audacity Steven, that you are displaying. Laughing at me and my discomfort. How dare you.” Tony paused for a second “I'm telling Bucky.”

Steve choked on his laughter “What?!”

“You heard me.” Tony was aware he sounded smug, he really was. But ask him if he cared. Spoiler, he didn't. “I'm telling Bucky, and then he’s going to kick your ass for laughing at me and my pain.”

“Tony really, it isn’t even that bad. You haven’t even tried moving yet. How do you know you can’t move your neck if you don’t try?”

“Don't try and weasel your way out of this Rogers. I’m telling Bucky. Jarvis! Where is the Klondike Bar anyways?” 

Steve sighed, “You could always just retire.” and then promptly began to panic when he heard Tony’s sharp inhale. “Not like that! I didn’t mean-”

“Retire? Retire! Steven.” Steve watched as Tony puffed up like an angry cat and just knew that if something didn’t intervene soon he’d not only be in the dog house for the rest of existence, but Bucky would be completely, unbearably smug because of Steve’s foot in mouth syndrome striking again. 

Steve’s head dropped to his chest as Jarvis announced that Bucky was on his way. There was absolutely no way Bucky wasn’t going to milk Steve’s blunder for all he was worth, for as long as he possibly could.

He was screwed.


End file.
